Shaken AND Stirred

Martinis in Bond movies of course the basis for the post title. It also describes the last couple of days of my two week hiatus from work, blogging, and anything else that required much conscious thought on my part. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were filled with two loved ones vomit multiple times over several days. It was rattling-and disappointing to end a vacation on that note. However I am grateful that today is a new day-and that I have been refreshed and renewed by God. Shaken by circumstances, stirred to respond to them in as positive a light as I am able with God's help.

I have been shaken too because of the month of June and all that it entailed as well. Now I find myself stirred by the Holy Spirit. I have been stirred to regularly and consistently show the love of Christ to myself. Pastors on the whole are often least capable of treating themselves with the care that they readily provide to others. There are numerous reasons for this-mine are best left to discussions with my confidants and in prayer. Let's just say that no one is able to give of themselves to others if they have not established and nurtured a self to give. This isn't a revelation to many-but it is something that I am still learning.

The concept of "pulling one's own weight" and "pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps" was something I learned early on and have to let go of now because it isn't working for me. If we work to establish self worth-then we are working against the Grace of God. We have value because of God's love for us-then we work out of gratitude for that love rather than to gain it. I've reversed that order and lived too long in that place.

Like comics-pastors sometimes are needy folks-thinking that in caring for others fulfillment and worth will come as a result. Comics think that if they get a crowd to laugh and/or like them-that some form of fulfillment and worth will result. Here's the trick though on both counts: If a person goes on stage, or goes into ministry or any helping profession from a place of needing validation of worth-then the task of ministry/stand-up/whatever else becomes impossible. Worth is given freely by God-so successful ministry and comedy come from a place of knowing you have talent/worth before you go on stage-or provide ministry for and with people.

A comic who's been at it a while will tell you in more informed and eloquent terms than I am able to here that you have to be convinced and confident that you are the funniest person coming or going BEFORE you take the stage. You don't do this out of arrogance-you do it because if you don't then you can't be funny-if you don't believe it-then the crowd won't either.

The same is true of ministry-if we don't believe that we are a valuable enough person to treat our bodies and souls with love and care then it isn't possible to provide consistent and authentic care for others. If we don't believe that we have worth because of being a child of God-not because of what we have achieved or because we have proven ourselves worthy then we are without a solid foundation from which to approach loving others.

All of us struggle to find validation in some way-something in which to ground our worth, our acceptance of self, and our need to be loved, to be heard, to be touched.

For me as a Christian and as a pastor I draw that from being grounded in Jesus Christ and his enduring unconditional love for me and his enduring and unconditional love for all of humanity. As often as I am able and as often as you are able we are helped by reminding ourselves of this truth-GOD LOVES US AND CLAIMS US AS WORTHY AND ACCEPTABLE BY GRACE FREELY GIVEN-NOT BECAUSE OF OUR HAVING EARNED IT. That is the gospel-the good news.

I pray that God gives us all the wisdom to see this Grace as ever present and as a calling to love ourselves. Knowing the words are true is the beginning-putting into practice the art of self care is the work that we can do out of gratitude for the love of God for us. So please along with me-let's be gentle and loving with who we are knowing that God is still leading us from where we are as people to where we can be.

Finally and ultimately then we will be empowered to love others by serving them martinis and watching Bond movies I guess is my point-no wait that's not it-serving ourselves martinis? I have to go and think of a better segue or tie in for my next blog-and allow myself to have written one that is less than perfect-there's that love of self again.

Be good to your waiters and waitresses as they've been good to you.

D