Three Musketeers-four if you count D'Artagnan

I thought I'd take a minute of time to comment on something with a less critical eye and name something for which I am truly grateful-friendships. Male friendships in particular. More specifically I want to tell you about three friends who recently showed me love and support in a very real way.

These three friends made the drive to rural West Virginia to attend my dad's visitation. It was roughly six hours for two of them (Marshall Lively and David Frazier. It was a two hour drive for the third Joel Trinidad a.k.a. J.D.). While they are not my only close friends-their gesture of love during this time of need was to me an amazing gift of love and care. I've been friends with Dave and Marshall for right at 30 years and Joel for 18 years. Joel was the one who labeled us as the Musketeers.

The masterpiece by Dumas described three men who served as guards among the royalty of France (Athos, Porthos, and Aramis) as well as a fourth swordsman (D'Artagnan). They were swashbucklers and womanizers and carousers. My three friends and I have lived lives that when we were younger were glimpses of such adventures (in our own minds at least). The closeness of the four of us though is analogous to the group in the classic tale.

Guy friendships are often thwarted by egos, insecurity, and homophobia. The classic machismo of yesteryear shows itself still-but a subtle shift has taken place and now allows men to show affection and be open about feelings with one another. This of course isn't true across the entire gender-but the evolution thankfully has affected some.

Me being closer to forty than thirty certainly has something to do with a willingness to say "I love you" to male friends without having to add the word "man" at the end. I think we often feel like we have to qualify the statement and to make it more acceptable-like the Bud Light Commercials from a few years ago "I love you man"-or the excellent movie by the same title that was in theaters several months ago I Love You Man.

These guys are people I feel at home sharing that I love them though and for that I thank God. It is a blessing to have that sort of connection with people. These guys are not related by blood but are related by love, time, and humor among other things.

They became the presence of the Living Christ for me-not to say that they can't be jerks (like all of us can)-but their actions spoke the message God wants to remind us of continually "You are NOT alone. I am with you." They surrounded me with their love-and continue to do so. God can and does feed our spirits and helps heal them through the people we love and live with-and that is the power of the Holy Spirit at work. The Holy Spirit lives in relationships-working to redeem the imperfections and giving us strength when we feel as though we are broken and beaten. The Holy Spirit helps us too when we feel as though we're so frustrated that we want to break and beat the person with whom we're in relationship. No matter the case-God is at work in and around and through all of our relationships.

I got a good look at God's love last week in my long time friends coming to stand with me as I wept. For that I will be forever thankful.

So to David, Marshall, and Joel and all my friends who read this-I love you.......................................

man.

=-)
Dwight

Happy Fathers's Day.

This past week I had the sad occasion of my Dad's funeral. The visitation/wake was Wednesday night and the funeral was Thursday afternoon.

Dad was a twenty year veteran-the first four years of his military career were with the United States Air Force. The next 16 were with the United States Navy. He was an "Airdale"-a plane mechanic on an aircraft carrier-the U.S.S. Bonham Richard I believe.

I had some special friends who traveled over six hours to be with me at his wake. Marshall Lively, Joel Trinidad, and David Frazier along with Dave's father John Frazier. It felt good to have my friends of 30 years (18 in Joel's case) by my side as I along with my family grieved dad's death.

It was a good service with an old time revival preacher-Diamond Willis. His name was Diamond honest to God. He was Pentecostal and the worship was lively.

I'll miss dad and wish I could phone him today to wish him Happy Father's Day-but he knows my love along with my sisters' love because of his enduring presence of spirit in union with God's Holy Spirit.

I pray that if you're a dad, of if your dad is still living that you get to tell him how much you love him-or that your kids tell you how much they love you.

My dad taught me to laugh at the absurdity of life. We were frequently watching farce comedies like the Three Stooges, or things like Don Knotts on the Andy Griffith show or in the movie with "Mr. Chicken" in the title. The ghosts and Mr. Chicken maybe.

One of dad's favorite sayings still makes me laugh to this day. "Her teeth we like the stars...they came out at night." I love it.

Dad was far from perfect-as am I. We had our arguments and major disagreements. Time had separated us from one another as well as my parents' divorce. But dad was always good to reach out to me even if I wasn't reaching out to him-he visited me during seminary, he called me frequently, and especially over the last ten or so years would say "You'll never know how much I love you. I'm so proud of you son."

Those words hold life. The live in my heart and mind. I hope you have someone in your life who tells you how much you are loved. God says these words to you even if you have no one physically present to say to you such words of affirmation and encouragement. God says "I love you and I'm proud of you."

Dad's words remind me of God's words to Jesus-"You are my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." That saying holds true of daughters as well-no gender specific love from God. All of us are God's children and as Scripture calls us in Colossians I believe we are "Joint heirs with Christ". This means we inherit the riches of Grace in our lives and the relationships that are shaped by Grace as well. So we can thank our heavenly Father today for loving us so much and for being proud of who we are-and also who we can become because of the transformative power of the Grace of God through Jesus Christ.

So Happy Father's day to all of us-the children of the Creator God also called our Father in Heaven, hallowed be God's name, God's kingdom come, God's will be done on earth as it is in heaven, God give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors for truly yours is the power and the glory and the power forever. Amen.

Gratitude

Having a truck nearly crush you gives you a different perspective on life. It mixes a serious sense of being grateful for even being able to walk and breathe with an underlying uneasiness that comes along with having been through a violent collision.

I imagine I'll be working on both in therapy for days to come. And surely I will be on the other side of this event better equipped and having been transformed.

For now-I'm sore and shaky. And grateful.

My left shoulder may have a tear in the rotator cuff. The alternatives of being severely maimed or dead are worse-so I'll take it and smile.

The humor I've found at this point is in imagining that I became like one of the Wonder Twins in the old Justice League cartoons from the seventies. In the moments before the collision God said on my behalf "Form of.......silly putty." Then I bounced around the cabin of the car until it came to rest.

Instead of newsprint that rubbed off on the silly putty when you put it onto the funny papers-the impression of Grace was left upon me. I don't necessarily ascribe to theology that names "everything happening for a reason", or "God doesn't give us more than we can handle". I think those are not the most helpful approach to any event.

Instead I think of John chapter 9 where Jesus and his disciples encounter a man who had been blind from birth. The disciples are in a hurry to answer the question "Why?". They ask Jesus-"Who sinned? This man or his parents that he should be born blind?" Why is he blind in other words.

Jesus answered that this man had been born blind so that God might be glorified. Then he proceeds to spit in the dirt to make mud, rubs it on the mans eyes and he is then able to see. So the healing of the man is a response not to "Why?" so much as it is an answer to the question "Now what?" as in we see that this man is hurting and disabled-now what are we going to do about it? The answer Jesus would seem to suggest in the text is that we respond to the person in need to glorify God and don't ask why-we just seek to fill the need that a person exhibits given what we have at hand to do so.

So I ask this question of myself-one I alluded to in my last blog-Now what? What will I be able to do in response to this event? How will I be able to do it? How might I glorify God through this experience? I know I've already been given opportunities to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with several people as a result. Would I have done so otherwise? Maybe in a different way but probably I would have.

So even as I show signs of anxiety when in the car, and even as my shoulder aches-I say to God. Thank you Jesus. And ask God "Will you please help me to bring you glory-and shape this silly putty of a man into a servant in whom you can be well pleased? Thanks."

Grace to you and Peace in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Dwight

Spared

I was returning home to Springfield OH heading north on I-65. I was about 60 miles south of Louisville Kentucky near a town called Horse Cave Kentucky.

My car hydroplaned after some standing water on the interstate lifted me into the median. The car turned around 180 degrees and slid into the median and then into oncoming southbound I-65 traffic where I was hit by a semi seconds later. The impact sent me back into the median where the car came to rest and where I miraculously (I believe) walked away from the wreck. The pictures demonstrate the extent of damage. Call it luck or blessed (which I call it) but whatever you call it I am grateful to God. I was wearing my seat belt and both airbags deployed.

The tractor trailer truck that struck me ended up in the median about fifty yards from me. An additional tractor trailer drove off the side of the road to land on its side just over the guard rail. None of the drivers were injured. The car is as you can see was crushed. It used to be a 2003 Honda Civic.

The injuries I received are not commiserate with the damage to the car thankfully. It was totaled-I was not. For that I am grateful.

In looking at the car you may not believe that a person could have survived.

My thoughts are that it is difficult to address a question like "Why did God spare me and not the innocent child who has suffered harm? Or why me and not someone else?" That question is not helpful or answerable. I can only say that I survived and that I plan to continue ministry with a renewed gratitude.

I'm sore and recovering-the alternative is much less appealing.

I hope God can help you who read this and me find a sense of gratitude whether it comes from something dramatic or overwhelming or something as taken for granted as a smile from someone. I count myself blessed and lucky, and grateful to be among the living.

I pray that you find your gratitude-and that you are able to do so easily each day.

The love of God is present for you and for me and all of humanity-and it always will be-in life and in death we belong to God. Know you are precious in God's sight and that you are loved.

Grace,
Dwight