On labels

I was discussing recently the difficulty we have with labels-not on clipping them from Del Monte cans and handing them in so your school that's poor from spending money on sports can buy books instead of raising taxes on people who are already well off-but still don't want to pay taxes any higher than they did in the '60s.

I'm talking about the labels we apply to folks in general. Liberal and Conservative. Christian, progressive, or fundamentalist. There is actually no way to avoid labeling to some extent. If we didn't we'd all be stuck using general and neutral pronouns.

Excuse me person? Could you hand me that thing with the stuff on it?

"This?" no
"That" no.

the thing with the color on it that's darker than the color of your eyes or the thing with the stuff on it the color of your skin but darker? No-the thing with the thing that's sitting on that other thing.

It quickly would become an exercise in futility and vagueness.

What can be frustrating though is the vast differences and nuances of opinion that exist in each individual and the attempt to try and place one person or the other in a particular category. This of course is what helps us define people but it can erode the sense of complexity that makes up individuals as well.

I long for a day like Dr. Martin Luther King spoke of when "we'd one day be judged not by the color of our skin (or any sort of label in particular), but on the content of our character".

It seems like a happy possibility to not be categorized as a lover of Rush Linbaugh or a lover of Keith Olberman-or maybe Bill O' Reilly vs. Al Franken. The truth is we're a huge amalgam of opinions, influences, circumstances, and convictions. To categorize anyone is to simplify people and the human experience so that we can be less anxious about reality.

Our anxiety comes from self consciousness-self awareness and the understanding that we can't figure everything out-and that there is randomness and insignificance as well as meaning and relationship that makes up our reality. But we can't wrap it up in a neat package for marketing it can make us antsy. If I can't buy it at Wal-Mart Dwight, I just don't trust it.

It reminds me of the phrase from the movie Pleasantville where everyone who is frightened about the change that is taking place all over the town say something to the effect of "Where do you go when everything around you is changing and the world seems so uncertain? The bowling alley of course".

People can certainly lean one way or the other in terms of political, religious, and all other viewpoints and character traits. But sometimes the idiosyncrasies and contradictions within our selves or that we observe in others is dumbfounding.

I know of a lesbian couple who attended a church that was against homosexuality. They did so because they didn't want to attend a church that while supportive of homosexual people had a woman minister. DOH!

That's like an NRA member that can't find it within himself to quit his knitting group even though his friends think its gay.

We're all so different-it makes us have to come up with labels to manage it all sometimes-so I respect that. I just ask "Where then is the middle ground?" Where can we find a place to accurately describe people, or realities without limiting the person or reality to that specific label? The bowling alley.

I don't know and I don't think we're supposed to know. I think that probably the process of learning about people and relationships is a lot more important than the arrival or the destination. That's not a particularly original concept-but it holds true in many instances. Along the way I think we're invited to make sure we laugh, love, and whatever third thing you can add here to make it a complete statement.

What is it that he poster says "Dance like no one is watching-even though you look like a dork, laugh as thought people around you aren't frightened by your boisterous and close to maniacal look and sound, and love like you aren't going to be issued a restraining order.

I hope you can label yourself as one who laughed at the end of today and each day.
Grace,
Dwight

Laughing in cars

I was just listening to This American Life on NPR today. This week's program was about fear of sleeping-the program listed all of the different difficulties people have while sleeping. Check it out at http://www.thislife.org/

One of my favorite comics (because he's clean, and self-conscious and honest) is Mike Birbiglia. (http://www.birbigs.com/) He sleepwalks and told a story of his having jumped out of a second story window while sleepwalking-he makes it funny-the fact that he survived helps.


It occurred to me as I sat in my car-parked in the lot of a Speedway in Springfield Ohio that I was laughing hysterically at his story. I became self conscious about it. I noticed several people look at me and wondered if they thought I was some sort of madman.


What do you do when you see someone laughing deep belly laughs and nearly crying from laughing so hard when they're in their car? What's the first thought that pops into your mind? Granted it might not happen often-but I've wondered about it before.

Once one of my parishioners told me they were trying to wave at me as I was driving by and they saw me just laughing it up like crazy and asked what was so funny. I couldn't remember. I listen to comics all the time in my car-and to comedy channels on radio.

I've also noticed when people walk by and I'm laughing until it hurts-it makes THEM appear self conscious-so in THAT moment-I'M self conscious about laughing alone in my car, and THEY'RE self conscious because they think I'm laughing at them. Or do they perhaps think I'm about to lose it and go into the gas station and throw candy bars at passers by while I perch myself on the sandwich counter. It's just one of those things that made me think-"I wish it wasn't such a rare sight to see someone laughing out loud for real instead of the ubiquitous text speak we have beaten to death 'lol'."


There's so LITTLE joy in this world-I invite you to join me in seeking out that which is absurd and raucous to bring a grin to our own face, someone we love, or the face of someone we don't even know. Have fun and don't be afraid to laugh. It makes us close to the heart of God in my humble opinion.

Grace,
Dwight